MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I
repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken
cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross
roads.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the
black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough
for us.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it
transcended it.
